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I know, I know…I’ve talked about this before, but hear me out!
I am probably the most complicated person when it comes to this subject. Do I give a guy a chance or do I keep waiting for the one I feel like is the one I’ve been waiting my whole entire life for?
I’ve had countless people tell me what they think and they all pretty much seem to think that my waiting game is pointless and that I’m wasting time. At times I get so frustrated at myself and my unwillingness to just let myself go out with the guy who has been trying so hard to just get one date. I feel so bad too! I juggle between just going for it or just waiting and waiting and waiting as I have been my whole adult life.
It wasn’t until today when it really hit me.
Recently I’ve been looking into the life of Abraham in the bible ever since watching an episode on his life at a small group meeting. I was astonished at his amazing, unaltered faith in God. Even when God’s promises to Abraham didn’t come for years and years and there were so many emotions and heartache in between, Abraham did not give up his hope and faith in the One who does not break his promises. I , for one, don’t think I would’ve had the faith that Abraham did to actually see the promises come into fruition.
Romans 4:21 “He was FULLY convinced that God is able to do whatever He promises”
What if God is about to pour out the promise he had given you, let’s say, tomorrow…but you give up on it the day before and decide to settle for something that’s nice and close to what you want but not exactly what you had hoped for?
For me, I see my dating life as sort of a parallel to Abraham’s life. (ahhh i can feel the weird stares yall are giving me!)
I truly, truly, truly believe that God has promised to give me the man of my dreams; one who will lead me in my walk with the Lord, etc. I’m not expecting perfection because, well, it doesn’t exist, but I am expecting a man who is perfect for me. The one thing I ask for, the only thing that really matters, is that that man wholeheartedly loves Jesus and pursues him daily. I believe that God has promised me that man and because I believe that, I believe that my job is to continue to wait and pray.
Every man that comes my way in the meantime may be a great guy, an amazing guy! And I may even have feelings for this man and could see a potential relationship, but Lord knows that there will always be a void in my heart. Despite any feelings I may have for a guy who likes me back, I feel like it’s all just a test of faith. Am I really going to give up waiting and go for the one who might fit every other thing I want in a man expect that ONE THING or am I going to be faithful to my God and his great promises for my life?
This is why I’ve wholeheartedly decided to keep on waiting. My life belongs to Jesus and that means even my love life. If I want God to have total control over my life, he has to own that part too and I am sooo okay with that. I am more than okay with that because I trust him. I trust in his love for me, I trust in him knowing what’s best for me, I trust in him knowing what makes my heart jump with joy, I just trust him. This is my way of somehow showing, in the littlest way, that he has my trust. I know that it will all be worth it in the end.
(!!!!!!!!) I just want to take the time to apologize to any guy that I may have led on due to my stupid inability to know what I wanted. I am so deeply sorry. I’m sorry for playing with your feelings and your heart because I would never want someone to do that to mine and you don’t deserve that. You have to know that I didn’t intend to hurt you or mess with your heart. I was being selfish by allowing you in despite my lack of clarity and in the end, just stringing you along. I am a thousand times sorry. You deserve someone who will want all of you and will know that you ARE exactly what they’re looking for. All the best for you.